BANNER CAPTION - Rule #1. Always vet the client.
Full page, black background, white letters
Chapter 1
A Horse with No Name
Panel - Long, thin panel - HEADER CAPTION – Somewhere in the Nevada Desert
Panel - Panoramic shot of the Nevada Desert, long distance.
Panel - Front shot of the grill of the ‘58 Cadillac.
Panel - Wide, aerial shot of the ‘58 Cadillac convertible roaring down the desert highway. Champagne drives, wearing a sleeveless blouse, driving gloves and cat’s eye sunglasses. An enormous teddy bear, the size of a full grown adult, is buckled in the backseat.
Panel - closeup of a dog eared copy of “Elegance” by Kathleen Tossaro, on the front seat of the Cadillac, next to a Chanel purse.
Panel - closeup of Champagne’s eyes, in the rearview mirror, looking over the rim of her cat’s eye shades.
Panel - closeup of Ted’s eyes in the rearview mirror.
Panel - Champagne watching closely as the good looking, shirtless grease monkey gassing up the Caddy.
Panel - Side shot - Champagne riding along, singing along with the radio, top down on the Caddy,
Radio CAP: "I don't cook, I don't clean…"
Panel - Champagne taking a selfie with a polaroid, next to a cactus in the desert.
Panel - Panoramic shot of the Nevada desert, middle distance; a black hearse, riddled with bullet holes, is crashed into a cactus with smoke billowing from the crunched hood. An open casket lies in the gulley.
Panel: Aerial shot (Buzzard’s eye view) – Whiskey in a black suit, white shirt, black tie, leaned back against a boulder, head thrown back, eyes closed. There is a sizable, red stain on his shirt. Near his left hand, a large scorpion stands on a bloody .38 revolver. Near his right hand, a cigarette burns in his fingertips next to an open copy of Nouveauxverse: Exordium.
Panel: Panoramic shot of the Nevada Desert, middle distance; a black hearse, riddled with bullet holes, is crashed into a cactus with smoke billowing from the crunched hood. Now a pink, 1958 Cadillac convertible is parked directly behind the hearse. The Cadillac radio plays “C’est si bon” by Dean Martin.
Panel 3: Midway, aerial shot of Whiskey, looking peaceful, eyes closed as he leans back on a rock. He looks dead.
CAP: My name is Walter Winchester. My friends call me Walt. Most other folks call me Whiskey. I am currently deceased.
Panel: Midway, aerial shot of Whiskey, his eyes still closed and his brow now furrowed in annoyance as his face is now covered in a shadow.
Whiskey: You're in my sun.
Off panel dialogue: (French) You're not dead!
Whiskey: Debatable.
Panel: Close-up of Whiskey’s face, eyes closed, lit by a flash.
SFX: FLASH!
Caption from off panel: Bon jour, Whiskey.
Panel: From Whiskey's point of view, Champagne looks down on him, holding a Polaroid camera with the photograph exiting and grinning.
Whiskey: Of course. Pain.
Panel - Champagne squats daintily, smoothing her skirt beneath her thighs.
Panel - Champagne rests her elbow on her lap and her hand beneath her chin, pouting coquettishly
Champagne: I hate that nickname. Tres rude, no? You know I hate that nickname. Pain means bread in french, you know? Always calling a delicate girl "bread". Such an asshole.
Panel - Whiskey sitting up now, leaning against the rock, side eye to Champagne.
Whiskey - Delicate?
Panel- Champagne rolling her eyes.
Champagne: Such an asshole.
Panel: Whiskey looking up in resignation.
Whiskey: And yet here you are.
Panel - Medium shot of Champagne and Whiskey, together.
Champagne: Are you drunk, Walter?
Whiskey: Would it matter if I were? And why are you here?
Panel: Champagne points to a stain on Whiskey’s shirt, near his stomach.
Champagne: You have blood on you.
Panel - Whiskey, looking down at the red stain on his shirt.
Whiskey: Naw..probably ketchup or some shit.
Panel - Medium shot of Whiskey dabs his finger in the stain, then puts it in his mouth.
Whiskey: Huh.
Panel - Whiskey dabs his finger in the stain, then puts it in his mouth again.
Whiskey: Actually, nope, you were right. That's blood. Shit.
Panel - Whiskey wipes his hands on his pants.
Whiskey: Meh, fuck it. Ain't mine.
Panel - Wide shot, Champagne, now standing, staring off into the horizon.
Champagne: Whose blood is it?
Whiskey: Are we playing twenty questions today, Pain? Do you actually care?
Panel - Champagne looking thoughtful, her finger to her chin.
Panel - Champagne smiling cheerfully.
Champagne: Non, not especially.
Panel: Whiskey climbing to his feet.
Whiskey: Why are you speaking French?
Panel - Medium shot of both. Champagne shrugs her shoulders.
Champagne: I am French. Since I am French, it is natural, no?
Panel - Whiskey pinches his nose in frustration.
Whiskey: Cali. You were born in France, raised in DC, went to boarding school in Switzerland, college in California and have never been in one place for longer than 5 years. You're about as French as fucking french fries.
Panel: Back shot of Champagne, rummaging in her purse.
Champagne: Fair enough.
Panel: Champagne pulls Whiskey to his feet.
Champagne: Come along, grumpy man.
Panel: As they walk along, Whiskey pats his pockets for his cigarettes and lighter.
Panel: Whiskey pulls a silver Zippo and a silver cigarette case from his jacket pockets.
Champagne: I thought you quit.
Whiskey: I am quitting.
Panel: Whiskey places a cigarette in lips.
Whiskey: Quitting as in “in the process of.”
Panel: Champagne keeps walking ahead. Walt can be seen in the background, raising the lighter, getting ready to light the cigarette.
Champagne: You are well aware that you can not smoke in my car.
Panel: Whiskey holds the flame an inch in front of the cigarette, looking annoyed.
Whiskey: Then we’ll take my car.
Panel: Champagne and Whiskey approach Walt’s hearse, now on fire.
Champagne: Uh huh.
Panel: The pair approach Cali’s Cadillac.
Champagne: It is very strange, though. Every time I see you, every single time, you look like an extra in an old Tarantino movie. Not even an extra with a lot of speaking lines. An extra near the end of the movie, after all the shooting and stuff.
Panel: Close-up of Whiskey’s face, looking intense.
Whiskey: Why are you here, Cali? You are not supposed to be here. The deal was that I would stay away to draw heat and you keep an eye on the kid.
Panel: Side shot of the two, Champagne facing Whiskey.
Champagne: I know Walter, but I need your help. We need your help.
Whiskey: I truly don’t give a shit. You are not supposed to be here. Not to mention, whenever you show up, I find myself beaten, stabbed and more often than not, shot at. That shit occurs with a considerable frequency that I generally tend not to prefer. Trouble follows you, like the scent of Chanel.
Panel: Closeup of Champagne looking every bit the tragic heroine, her hand to her heart. She dabs her eyes with a handkerchief.
Champagne: Walter. I'm here because….because I love you.
Panel: Whiskey looks tired, annoyed and appalled, all at once.
Whiskey: ..... Fuck you.
Panel: Closeup of Champagne smiling and rolling her eyes.
Champagne: Ugh, fine. You are no fun, you grumpy old bastard.
Panel: Medium shot of the two getting into her car.
Champagne: So, are you drunk, Walter?
Whiskey: No. No Cali, I’m not drunk.
Panel: Walter is in the passenger seat, turned and looking back at Ted.
Panel: Ted’s face, closeup.
Panel: Walt looking annoyed and confused.
Walt: And this is?
Panel: Cali looking cheerful, smiling broadly, checking her lipstick in the rearview mirror.
Champagne: This is Theadore. Say hello Theadore. I’m sorry, Walter, Theadore is terribly shy.
Panel: Medium shot of Walt, Cali and Ted all facing forward now, ready to ride.
Walt: Uh huh. You know, everytime I think I have a handle on your crazy, you find a whole new level.
Champagne: You old sweet talker, you. C’mon, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.
Panel : Aerial view of the convertible Cadillac on a two lane blacktop, Champagne at the wheel, Whiskey sprawled across the passenger seat, Ted buckled safely in the backseat.
Whiskey: Where are we going?
Panel : Front view of the Cadillac, Champagne at the wheel, cat’s eye shades and sun hat.
Champagne: Mexico.
Panel : Shot of Whiskey slouching in the passenger seat, the comic open in his hands.
Whiskey: And what’s in Mexico?
Panel : Side view of the Cadillac, Champagne at the wheel, cat’s eye shades and sun hat.
Champagne: Avocados.
